Carroll Baptist Church
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Carroll Baptist Church
Carroll Baptist Church
Saturday, March 14, 2009
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World Of Sports Good Guy Tribute To Payne Where's Payne? Just For Fun

Just For Fun

The Bible says "A merry heart does good, like medicine." (Proverbs 17:22) It also says "He who is of a merry heart has a continual feast."(Proverbs 15:15) After much study and exegesis I have come to the startling conclusion that these verses mean just what they say. The first verse can be verified medically. Norman Cousins, among others, has documented this. One of my personal favorite evidences of this, albeit somewhat less scientific, came from a pastor who was hospitalized and in extreme pain. He had to have frequent injections for the pain and it had become difficult to find a new and different place for the injection. (Just hang on. It gets better.) One day he had grown weary and discouraged as he rang for the nurse. Since it took a while to turn over and get into position for the shot, he proceeded with the preparations. Presently he heard the door open. He pointed to a place on his southern region, now fully exposed by the "designer" hospital gown, and said "Just stick it right there." The long silence and notable inactivity finally caused him to slowly turn his head only to discover a lady from his church trying to retain something of a dignified appearance. After a few moments of small talk she left. The pastor laid there for a moment and then erupted into laughter. At this point his nurse came in to see what he needed and asked why he was laughing so hard. He tried to tell her but again burst forth with more laughter. She said she would come back later but when she did, he again lost control. Finally he was able to tell her what had happened but when he told her why he had called for her in the first place he discovered he no longer needed the shot. The laughter had caused the pain to abate for almost three hours. It also proved to be an emotional turning point in his recovery. Some would say "It is inappropriate to laugh when there is so much sadness and suffering." And, indeed, the Bible says "He who sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes away a garment in cold weather, and like vinegar on soda." (Proverbs 25:20) But, as George Bernard Shaw said, "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." The God whose heart was so broken by our sinfulness that He sent His Son to die a cruel death on the cross is the same one who reminds us of the value of laughter. So enjoy. We hope this page can in some small way add to your feasting table.

The World According to Children

 British Children's Answers To Church School Questions:

Adam's Cat
And after God created Adam, Adam became filled with pride and strutted like a peacock. And so God created Cat to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not God. Thus did Adam learn humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was humbled. And Cat did not care one way or the other. (The Joyful Noiseletter, May 1999) 
  • Question:What is one horsepower?
    Answer:One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
  • You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
  • Talc is found on rocks and on babies.
  • The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
  • When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
  • When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
  • Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
  • While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
  • Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
  • South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
  • Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
  • Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.
  • A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
  • There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.
  • There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.
  • Lime is a green-tasting rock.
  • Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
  • Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
  • Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
  • Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.
  • Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
  • We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
  • To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
  • Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
  • The fifth commandment is Humor thy father and mother. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, and a ball of fire at night.
  • When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she went off and sang the Magna Carta.
  • Salome was a woman who danced naked in front of Harrods.
  • Holy acrimony is another name for marriage.
  • The Pope lives in a vacuum.
  • Paraffin is next in order after seraphim.
  • The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of the sea sick.
  • Iran is the Bible of Moslems.
  • A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible.
  • The natives of Macedonia did not believe, so Paul got stoned.
  • The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  • It is sometimes difficult to hear what is being said in church because the agnostics are so terrible.

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